Your struggle with perfectionism and desire to cover up your weaknesses is killing your ability to experience the power of God's Perfect love. Remember that the remedy for perfectionism is to allow God to turn your weaknesses into strengths with His grace, lovingkindness, and mercy. 

What if everything you believe about love is wrong? We all have foundational beliefs about love. However, for most of us, those beliefs increase fear and stand in the way of genuinely experiencing God’s “Perfect love.”